I wrote this poem yesterday while I was sitting in a bus headed for Ghana’s Oil City, Takoradi. On reflection, it is a deep poem that I thought I should share with you. I posted it directly off-head to a Facebook group named P.O.E.T.S, standing for People Of Equal ThoughtS.
Has an eye for I
Sat upon a moonlight dreaming!
My eyes closed to mortality.
A new born in immortality.
After writing it, I thought it could have ended with ‘Aye’, the pirates’ way of saying ‘Yes’! What could I title this poem? I wish a few of you could try a title for me that should be crisp, short and captivating. Let’s see them in the comments, thank you.
Ok, so the poem came randomly and the story is this: A certain lady has an eye for the speaker. He calls her a ‘damsel’ which I would like to think is reference to a woman who is graceful in gait and elegant in appearance. But in his third line, the speaker says that she is ‘Sat upon a moonlight dreaming!’, which could be explained thus: her love for him cannot be true or cannot be realised or cannot be acted on for a reason we don’t know. That is the only reason why he calls it a dream. In keeping with the utter beauty of our damsel, she sits against the moonlight, a very angelic figure.
Then the last three lines tell us why her love will only stay a dream. His eyes are ‘closed to mortality’. This means that he has lost the sense of mortals – he is dead. And the next line aptly tells us that he has become a new born in immortality. He has been born anew in the afterlife. Someone who just left this side of eternity will only be a baby on the other side, where life is theologically believed to exist ‘in immortality’ – forever.
He ends by saying ‘I’. ‘Yes’, says ‘aye’. Or we could say ‘Aye? I!’, to end the poem, giving a series of exciting play on words, each invoking different meanings to the poem’s ending. Enthralling piece, this. So help me. What would you throw in as a suggestion for this poem’s title? It needn’t be too fancy or too difficult a reply, should it? Let’s have fun.